The government is distributing 25 MILLION condoms as part of its anti-AIDS efforts, despite objections by the Church over what they consider to be promotion of casual sex.

In other news, seat belts have been found to promote reckless driving.

It’s 55 degrees outside, sunny. When I got into my car to go to lunch, the A/C came on because the car was warmer than 70 degrees inside.

On a day like this, a groundhog would surely see his shadow, but he would also feel the awesome warmth on his back and face and decide it must already be Spring.

The path forward is beset by staunch defenders of tradition and dogma. The dominant conflicts of the present are not so different from those of old save one thing: never before has the fastest growing religious assembly been nonbelievers.

In response, those singing old choruses simply sing louder, in growing desperation, threatened by change and information. By the time their voices crack, they’ve forgetten what truly inspired the singing and undertake irrational defenses, even in the face of overwhelming evidence.

Some were/are more real than others. Tobacco and obesity are orders of magnitude more dangerous than any item (however nondescript) on the trendy fear list. Why aren’t they the focus of fear-mongering?

They’re all little, but they’re still important: moments when you say or do the wrong thing or what you said could have been said better. No single one has ever affected my life significantly either way.

Assuming they aren’t simply the same mistakes over and over (which happens from time to time no matter what), life is exactly what it’s meant to be.