jonathan butz

“If you want a fun drinking game, chug a beer every time you hear the phrase ‘contentious but futile protest vote by democrats’. By the time Jeb Bush is elected president, you’ll be so wasted you won’t even notice the war in Syria.”
-John Stewart

Werner Heisenberg is speeding down the interstate in the middle of nowhere, when he suddenly sees flashing lights behind him. He pulls over, readies his insurance information and rolls down his window for the police officer.

The officer walks over and says, “Sir, do you know how fast you were going?”

Heisenberg responds, “No, but I know exactly where I am!”

I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend your right to encrypt it…
Software sucks. Open Source sucks less.
Repeat after me, we are all individuals.
source: Slashdot.org

Make a Hand Turkey.

An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician (it is said) were holidaying in Scotland. Glancing from a train window, they observed a black sheep in the middle of a field.

“How interesting,” observed the astronomer, “all scottish sheep are black!”

To which the physicist responded, “No, no! Some Scottish sheep are black!”

The mathematician gazed heavenward in supplication, and then intoned, “In Scotland there exists at least one field, containing at least one sheep, at least one side of which is black.”

Upon which the others chorused “Shut up, you f-ing pedant!” and hurled him out the train window.

source: the ether