jonathan butz

I became a dad in a single moment, but thank goodness I do not yet need to explain what boys really want.

Sarah discovered that my hosting provider supports WordPress and remade our family blog using it.

This prompted me to do the same, and I even managed to import my b2 blog posts by upgrading b2 to b2evolve and editing the display templates to display the posts in Movable Type format, which WordPress then imported.

I continue to be amazed at how much my life is shaped by my wife. I have a dog, a house, a daughter and a much improved web presence.

A phylum of protozoa known as Tardigrades (“water bears”) have eight legs with claws and can survive a tremendous variety of habitats and abuse.

It is not enough to merely expose them to harsh terrestrial conditions for study, so scientists shot a group into SPACE. The study of survivors is complete, and the results are here.

We were sitting in the Pittsburgh airport on seats beside the counter, flipping through separate magazines. At the same moment, each of us raised an arm to wrap ’round the other, bumping elbows and wrists. We laughed long and settled back into our reading with contented smiles.

When I was twenty-eight, I met Sarah, and the rest of my life began.

At my wedding, my brother Christopher delivered the most impressive best-man toast I have ever heard, shoulders wide, eyes shining, big smile and a speech that made everyone happy. We laughed and we sighed, and I’ve never seen my father beam so.

He said that I was happy. And I am happy. So many things that would stress me to dread seem dulled by the happy progress of life.

And I realize after living with him for a year, that I will miss him.

“You’ll be riding along in an automobile. You’ll be the driver perhaps. You’re a Christian. There’ll be several people in the automobile with you, maybe someone who is not a Christian. When the trumpet sounds you and the other born-again believers in that automobile will be instantly caught away — you will disappear, leaving behind only your clothes and physical things that cannot inherit eternal life. That unsaved person or persons in the automobile will suddenly be startled to find the car suddenly somewhere crashes…. Other cars on the highway driven by believers will suddenly be out of control and stark pandemonium will occur on … every highway in the world where Christians are caught away from the drivers wheel.”

– Rev Jerry Falwell, in his pamphlet, “Nuclear War and the Second Coming of Christ,” quoted from Ronnie Dugger, “Does Reagan Expect a Nuclear Armageddon?” in Washington Post Outlook (April 8, 1984)

Adieu, crazy man.

It’s Saturday.
Next weekend is Easter.
The next weekend is our wedding.

The important things are scheduled.
The more important little things are coming together.
The less important little things aren’t really that important.

I’M GETTING MARRIED!

My extended family saw this coming two years ago, right after meeting Sarah. Their love grew from “We all like her” to “I think an October wedding would be nice” over several hours on a roof-top afternoon in Brooklyn.

From then to now have been the happiest days of my life.
And this is all just beginning . . .

“You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.”

-George W. Bush, Interview with CBS News, Washington D.C., Sept. 6, 2006

Weird Al has consistently used humor and sardonic wit to remind us not to take ourselves (or anyone else) too seriously. “Don’t Download This Song” is a topical track from his latest album to inspire the righteous in all of us. Not since “All About the Pentiums” has he struck so close to the heart.

The lyrics relate the artist’s perspective in ways we’ve not yet considered, allowing us to feel the impact of piracy on their meager lifestyles: “Don’t take away money from artists just like me./How else can I afford another solid gold Hum-Vee?” And he reminds us that there can be no exceptions to the penalties for these reprehensible transgressions: “It doesn’t matter if you’re a grandma or a seven year old girl./They’ll treat you like the evil hard-bitten criminal scum you are!”

Perhaps the most poignant lines detail the slippery-slope of wrongdoing, which always begins with seemingly innocent infractions: “‘Cause you start out stealing songs and then you’re robbing liquor stores/And sellin’ crack and runnin’ over school kids with your car!” These powerful words endorse a much-needed return to more earthy values, with songs sung by people, traded openly person-to-person, not stolen.

With inspiring choral arrangements and precision strikes at the industry, Weird Al paints a dichotomous picture of the biz, at the same time reminding us that labels have a right to sue but that the true impact of file sharing is minute and irrelevant. It’s almost as if, by telling us not to download this song, he is saying just the opposite, leaving his audience conflicted about the very act he’s (not) endorsing.

So please, for Weird Al’s and entire industry’s sake, “Don’t download this song. / The record store’s where you belong.”