jonathan butz

Weird Al has consistently used humor and sardonic wit to remind us not to take ourselves (or anyone else) too seriously. “Don’t Download This Song” is a topical track from his latest album to inspire the righteous in all of us. Not since “All About the Pentiums” has he struck so close to the heart.

The lyrics relate the artist’s perspective in ways we’ve not yet considered, allowing us to feel the impact of piracy on their meager lifestyles: “Don’t take away money from artists just like me./How else can I afford another solid gold Hum-Vee?” And he reminds us that there can be no exceptions to the penalties for these reprehensible transgressions: “It doesn’t matter if you’re a grandma or a seven year old girl./They’ll treat you like the evil hard-bitten criminal scum you are!”

Perhaps the most poignant lines detail the slippery-slope of wrongdoing, which always begins with seemingly innocent infractions: “‘Cause you start out stealing songs and then you’re robbing liquor stores/And sellin’ crack and runnin’ over school kids with your car!” These powerful words endorse a much-needed return to more earthy values, with songs sung by people, traded openly person-to-person, not stolen.

With inspiring choral arrangements and precision strikes at the industry, Weird Al paints a dichotomous picture of the biz, at the same time reminding us that labels have a right to sue but that the true impact of file sharing is minute and irrelevant. It’s almost as if, by telling us not to download this song, he is saying just the opposite, leaving his audience conflicted about the very act he’s (not) endorsing.

So please, for Weird Al’s and entire industry’s sake, “Don’t download this song. / The record store’s where you belong.”